L.O.V.E. Acrostic for Power Struggles

The LOVE acrostic uses three skills and one general principle to help resolve conflict and increase communication. Following is the meaning of the acrostic. Use this as a guideline when dealing with conflict resolution.

L: Listen and repeat. Break up those patterns by listening to your partner and repeating a short summary of what he or she said before you make your point.
O: Observe your effects. What we intend for a communication to say is not always the impact that communication has. When you see that your partner has responded in a way that indicates a misunderstanding, stop and say, “I feel like I didn’t communicate as clearly as I would like. What I meant to say was…” Notice the triggers that get you into conflicts or that make conflicts get suddenly worse. Avoid these triggers.
V: Value your partner. In whatever communication, always strive to value your partner and never devalue your partner.
E: Evaluate both partners’ interests. Go beyond the statement of your position in a conflict and identify the real interests you both are trying to meet. If you both identify your interests, then you can often find several solutions that meet both of your interests—not just one person’s interests.


*Taken from Hope-Focused Marriage Counseling by Worthington